Acceptance

My heart is filled with a thousand lies,
all little stories I have told.
Although my heart feels heavy,
these lies lay lightly on my mind.
For many years I have wondered,
feeling trapped but also lost.

When I stop and think my eyes begin to fill,
happiness is far from near.
I hold a torch in my heart for someone who's never cared.
Although I lie and say I’m fine,
I'll always stop and think.

For a time I thought that no one would understand.
I held these dark secrets close never revealing.
I tried to cope with no avail,
through poisoning my body and soul.
All I wanted was someone to say they cared and actually mean it.

I tried to hide by acting distant,
never letting anyone close.
I blamed myself for all the hurt,
those around me have endured.
Thinking if I let anyone in,
I would hurt them too.

I carried all my woes close to my chest.
Eventually it ached so much I could,
hold them inside no more and frequently broke.
Although externally I fixed myself,
again and again with time.
My heart has never healed.

And then this is now,
I feel at last close to freedom with happiness close to view.
All with help of my guardian angel,
which of course I mean is you.
You listen when I need to cry and,
bare my soul with nakedness and truth.

When I'm low and feeling sad,
I close my eyes once more.
This time instead of crashing down,
you lift my spirits high.
Even though you are far not close, I feel your love throughout.
I feel because you've experienced the hate you can help my darkness to rise.

For you who I truly trust and can lay to you myself as me, are the best friend I've ever had.
You've helped me in a way no one can, in laying some of my demons to rest.
Although they’ll never be far I can hold my head up high.
You've helped me see that being me is ok and for that I can smile.

I love you in a way I cannot word
and in my heart you'll forever be.